I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
