Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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