worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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