her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
