**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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