I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
