you guys were way drunker than both of me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
