The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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