he wants to bone in the snuggie
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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