just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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