Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We are all done wearing pants today
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
