So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
