So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
