it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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