The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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