no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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