eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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