Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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