i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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