I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
