TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
