put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
