I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
