Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
