Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
