Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
