I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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