we're blogging at a bar
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
