You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
