If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
this just has baby written all over it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
