if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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