I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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