it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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