need another drink. this is the easiest way
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
