I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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