No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The uberlube is also flammable
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
