im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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