I'm really into asian looking animals
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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