The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
