Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
