guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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