you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
