we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
