He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
