dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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