her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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