Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
