But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
