Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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