It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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