So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
