Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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